


El Dorado

by ambrosiaplease



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pizza Place, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 17:16:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7396429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambrosiaplease/pseuds/ambrosiaplease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sail sail sail, gotta gotta go go, meet some annoying customer at El Dorado!"<br/>-Sehun's own version of their Pizza parlor jingle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	El Dorado

**Author's Note:**

> pizza and sesoo for y'all :)

There's a not-sure-how-long days of summer vacation but university comes a long just to end it. So the annual problem to Sehun and Jongin's generation is finding a good way to spend it. However, these two can't pull a Phineas and Ferb who can build a rocket, fight a mummy or climb the Eiffel tower (They can't even climb the Namsan tower because these two are afraid of heights. Yup, one of the reasons they click).  Having a summer job is not really a good way, but for them, it is better than being bums this bummer season. 

If electric fan and air-con could file a case to their owner, Sehun would be sentenced to death for home appliance abuse. He has to make sure that the air-con in his room is set on the lowest temperature. He obviously wants to beat the heat.

Sehun's room changes every season. He had read once an article of some interior decorator on the Internet about the color of curtains that changes the mood of a bedroom. Being a person who believes easily aka _LTE believer_ , he tried to change his plain white curtain that gives a gloomy hospital ambiance to a dark blue velvet curtain that despise the shining sun in the morning. He was pretty convinced that this article helped him to get ready for this hot season.   
   
Sehun's smartphone starts to ring to the tune of Katy Perry's Dark Horse. 

 _Incoming Call…_    
_King Jongin (crown)_

It keeps on ringing but Sehun is not yet awake. Maybe his ringtone compliments with his room. The sunlight doesn't have the chance to wake him up because of his dark blue velvet curtain blocking the sun to peek at his face in the morning. His smartphone stop ringing after a couple of minutes and his door suddenly opens.

"Hey! hey! hey!" 

Jongin sings a Robin Thicke song and shakes his hips in a groovy rhythm as he enters his best friend's room. He sings the same ‘Hey hey hey’ line until he reached Sehun's bed. Jongin plunges beside his sleepyhead friend but the latter doesn't care at all and just groans. 

 

“If you can't hear what I'm trying to say." 

 

Jongin continues to sing Blurred Lines in falsetto. He sings close to Sehun's left ear but his best friend shoves his face away from him. However, he doesn't mind being hit by Sehun and sing again.

 

“If you can't read from the same page… Maybe I'm going deaf…Maybe I'm going blind…Maybe I'm out of my mind"

 

His out of tune falsetto strikes once again. Jongin changes his place, now on the right side of Sehun so that he can sing close enough to his best friend's ear for the second time. Sehun can't take the annoyance any longer and wakes up. He pushes Jongin away from him as he sits down, still with his eyes close. 

"The fuck, Man? Is human alarm specialist your summer job this vacation?" Sehun asked his best friend groggily. 

Jongin stands up after being pushed away from the bed earlier. He realized the reason he's there to wake Sehun up. He sits down beside his still sleepy best friend who makes a smug face towards him, and snatches the Rilakkuma plushy named Pinku-pinku.

 “N-O as in no, Mr. Oh! But, I already know our summer job this month!" Jongin replies while wiggling his eyebrows.  Sehun rubs his eyes with both hands. He is not that sleepy but his mind is still updating for his opinions, thoughts, ideas, and understanding for the whole day. He stares at Jongin who looks so excited to spill the good news. 

Jongin clears his throat and asks. "Do you remember Park Chanyeol?" 

Sehun looks puzzled with his question, like the hell he care about their weird senior. "Huh? You mean the president of Ferret Lovers Club in our elementary school?" He answers, still confused why Jongin asked him that.

  
"Yep, the first president and the founder of Ferret lovers club! So, I saw him last night at 7-eleven when I bought some q-tips because my mom forgot to buy when she went to the grocery. He asked what's my plan this summer vacation and if I'm interested to have a summer job." Jongin explained. A familiar bitchy expression flashes from his best friend's face. He knows that Sehun will say something with a touch of pessimism and sarcasm as the latter's brows suddenly arched. He doesn't let Sehun give his side comment. He knows his best friend when it comes to this. 

"Nope, don't start with that look. We're not gonna be ferret sitters because he's so done with ferrets. I will not be here in the first place if that's the job he offered." Jongin assures. Sehun's face went back to normal. He doesn't want to be a ferret-sitter. He prefers to be under house arrest while continuously abusing his aircon. Good thing his best friend Jongin is not that nice and stupid to accept it just in case that's the summer job Chanyeol wanted to offer. 

"Fine! So what now?" Sehun directly asks. Jongin looks at him and smiles enthusiastically. He is really excited for their soon to be summer job. "So, Chanyeol-hyung asked if we're interested to apply as pizza deliver guys and, I said Y-E-S as in yes!" Jongin's eyebrows starts to wiggle again. He grins sheepishly that influence Sehun to smirk back at him. That stare means something only the two of them understand without saying anything. Yep, it's another best friend thing.

Jongin stands on the bed, grabs some invisible lightsabers and forms a letter "X" from that invisible thing he is holding. Sehun did the same  beside his best friend. 

"Sail sail sail,

 gotta gotta go go,

 eat some pizza, burger, fries at  El Dorado!"  

The two of them just did the original El Dorado Pizzeria jingle since 1998 with matching their invisible lightsabers that were being waved comically. These lightsabers were the famous freebies at El dorado Pizzeria when they were in kindergarten. Almost all the so called 90s kids consider this jingle their soul song and even their national pizza anthem.

Delivery man of a pizza parlor is a good job this summer but since it's their favorite pizza parlor for so many years, it is considered as a summer job goal for them. Aside from that, they are suckers for pizza, burger, fries, and everything nice. They love the scent of their favorite pizzeria every time they eat there. If they could also eat the smell of the food being served, they would definitely eat them all. (Another reason they, once again, click.)

El Dorado Pizzeria is one of the best and oldest restaurants in the neighborhood. These pizza parlor is now managed by the fourth generation of Kim Family, named Kim Junmyeon. Their best-seller pizza is the _Pepperonironi_ aka double pepperoni pizza.

  
"Remember that time we joined the _'Let out the beast'_ challenge last October? That Triple Killah Bacon and Beef Transformer was super sick. I hadn't eaten for a day and a half." Sehun reminisces as he walks to the bathroom to wash his face. Jongin, on the other hand, stays on the bed smiling. He also got sick that time. But none of them won the challenge. The winner was a Chinese exchange student named Luhan who looks like an _ulzzang_ or a  member of a flower boy group.

"That Luhan guy was not just about having a pretty face but also for having an Incredible hulk-ish appetite. So rad, man."  Jongin remembers the Chinese winner. Until now, he still doesn't know how did Luhan eat that.

After Sehun went to the bathroom, he stands in front of his full body mirror and do some stretching. Jongin walks to Sehun's direction. They stare at each other as they form another 'X' in the air with their invisible lightsabers and nod.

  
"Sail sail sail,  
Gotta gotta go go,  
Gotta work at El Dorado El Dorado!" 

They sing and dance again in unison. Sehun and Jongin are ready to enjoy their summer job as pizza delivery guys. 

  
***

The smell of the pizza can really hypnotize the people from outside to dine in the restaurant. The interior has this _'city of gold'_ ambiance that can make the costumers feel that they became a triumphant explorers who just discovered the El dorado through pizzas, pastas and burgers. The whole place has a touch of gold, light gold, shimmering gold, matte gold and too much gold. The people will  probably have 2 causes of death: amazing food that will make one's stomach explode and the radiant rays of gold coming from the walls of the restaurant that will make their eyes bleed. 

The ancestors of the Kim's were frustrated explorers who wanted to discover the so called "El dorado" somewhere in Columbia but unfortunately, failed. Well, they're also a foodie type of explorers so they just decided to bring those enchanted places in South Korea. The Kim family also have a seafood restaurant in Busan called 'Atlantis'. 

Sehun and Jongin entered with too much excitement and of course, hunger because today is their first day at work. They have so many memories at El dorado pizzeria so spending their free time as delivery guys will be added to their sailor memory time capsule. 

"Welcome to El dorado Pizzeria, gentlemen! Good thing, Chanyeol informed me that he knows some guys who are in for a summer job. And you two are quite familiar!" The manager named Junmyeon greets them with a warm yet goofy smile.

"Of course Boss! We were a members of Little Sailors Club before." Jongin answered proudly.

"The limited edition lightsabers for little sailors were a piece of bragging rights when we're in elementary" Sehun agreed with his best friend. 

They are just too proud reminiscing their little sailor escapades before. Junmyeon can't hide his happiness. He was once became the captain of the said club way back when he was a teenager. He is definitely proud of himself for choosing these two to work for him. 

While the pizza parlor is not yet open, Junmyeon tour his new staffs inside the kitchen wherein they witnessed the magic of how the pizza were made, the burgers were flipped, and the pastas were boiled. The two El dorado pizzeria enthusiasts are in awe to discover the kitchen. Their jaw-dropping and seal-clapping scenarios overwhelms the kitchen as the other crews are preparing the things that will need later.

After the tour, Junmyeon conducts a 'brief' (that's what he said) orientation for his new hires. He discussed the mission, vision,  history and strategic plan of El dorado pizzeria for 2015 as an introduction which Sehun finds irrelevant and boring for the new hired pizza delivery men. He noticed Jongin who struggles not to fall asleep beside him. 

Junmyeon noticed that the two of them are no longer interested so he decided to explain what will be their real job. He clears his throat. "So, Under the strategic plan for this month, I decided to improve the delivery unit of EDP (El dorado Pizzeria). You guys will be included in this new improved delivery unit." Junmyeon explained. 

"The delivery unit will be divided into two. Of course, you guys will not have the same duties here but you can change your work with each other if you want." Their boss continues. Sehun and Jongin stare at their boss. They don't know why Junmyeon prefers a word-vomit way of explaining things and always hitting around the bush. They thought it will be just a brief orientation since the pizzeria will open in a few hours.

"The first position will be for Sehun because you are 'oh so hot' according to some high school girls. FYI, I do background checks and surveys if necessary. I hope you don't mind." Junmyeon continues his explanation. 

Sehun gave Jongin a _what-kind-of-boss-do-we-have_ stare. In return, the latter retaliate with an _i-don't-know-let's-just-go-with-flow-for-now_ stare. (It's another segment of the best friend thing.)

"Now, where was I? Oh, Being a hot guy to some girls who answered my survey, as I said earlier, you will be the hotline guy. Pretty cool huh?" Junmyeon said with a proud smile on his face for that word play he just used. Sehun wants to face palm and on the act of doing so but Jongin stopped him. Sehun nodded then smiled. He unfortunately agreed to his boss that it's pretty cool. This made him feel so bad. 

  
"The second, and last, because it's just a two-men unit is for no other than, Jongin. Since you described yourself as a dashing dancer in your instagram bio, you will be the dashing delivery guy. As I've said earlier, I do some background checks. But your roles are interchangeable. It's better that you maximize your skills in these areas of the delivery unit and must know how to do both getting and delivering the order to our costumers. I am definitely counting on you guys." Jongin is controlling himself not to laugh. He is now thinking if their boss is a frustrated gagman or just plain word player. 

After their 'brief' orientation, Junmyeon gave their uniforms since their shift will start in thirty minutes. Their boss accompanies them to their delivery unit place beside the cashier's booth. 

Sehun, being the hotline guy is now seated in front of the telephone and computer while his dashing delivery guy best friend is outside to check his designated gold delivery vespa scooter for a dry run. 

 

Their shifts will start now. Good luck to the both of them.

 

***

The Ring 0

"Sail sail sail, hello hello hello, you've reached the El dorado, may I have your delivery password?" Sehun answered the phone after the second ring. The delivery setup in El dorado pizzeria is different from other restaurants. Instead of giving their contact details again and again, they will just give their delivery password made by the customers themselves. All they need to do is to register their contact details once they visit the pizzeria and provide their password for their own comfort. This password will access the contact details (i.e. Name and address) on the EDP computer. This delivery scheme is under the EDP strategic plan 2012. 

"It's ohmybaby412. Can I have a medium Heart Attack pizza and 2 regular black pearl shakes for your mom and dad, Sehunnie?" The first costumer replied. Sehun is a little embarrass. He is hoping for a real unknown costumer and not his mom power-tripping his son  on his first day of work. 

"You just went here last night." Sehun said to the other line half-hardheartedly. 

The lady in the cashier stare at him like she's saying to maintain the phone protocol even he know who is on the line. Sehun nods apologetically. Sehun clears his throat and follows the _dummies for hotline guy_ booklet.

"I repeat your order Mrs. Oh,  1 medium Heart attack pizza and 2 regular black pear shakes. Is there anything else that you want to add?" Sehun asked like a real hotline guy with a real stranger costumer. He can hear his mom's giggles on the other line. But he tried his best to hide his annoyance and embarrassment. He knows his mom is too happy that his son is no longer under a  house arrest. 

Sehun processed the order without any problem. That was just a warm up for him. 

 

  
The Ring 1

"Sail sail sail, hello hello hello, you've reached the El dorado, may I have your delivery password?" Sehun answered the phone with his opening spiel. 

"misterpororoni" The second costumer with a deep manly voice replied on the other line. Sehun wants to laugh but he can't. He thinks that his costumer's voice doesn't suit with his password.  He typed the password on his computer to check the man's details.

"Hello Mr. Do, thank you for giving me your password. Can I take your order?" Sehun asked his first real 'unknown' costumer. He wants to get this done properly. 

"One small Pepperonironi, thanks." The man replied thriftily.

"One small pepperonironi, that will be for eight dollars. Is there anything else you like to add Sir? We have our new flavored pizza called Exodus pizza. It has ten different toppings. Would you like to try it?" Sehun know he's doing it right. He is strictly following the instructions on his dummies for hotline guys booklet.

"Did I say anything else aside from one small pepperonironi?" The so called Mr. Do asked Sehun in a calm yet irritating manner. 

"No, Sir." Sehun is starting to get pissed but still answered like a professional hotline guy.

"So that's it. That will be all. You know what kid, if there's a new thing the comes along, it doesn't mean that you will need to let go the old thing for the new ones." The man with calm yet sarcastic voice answered and left him with a life tip without letting Sehun end their conversation with his closing spiel.

Sehun feel so annoyed and degraded for the first time in his summer job life. How dare that guy called him kid? He just hope that misterpororoni will not call ever again.

 

 

Their first day of work was tiring, crazy yet fun. Jongin enjoyed riding on his dashing vespa scooter. While Sehun felt so fulfilled in spite the fact that his patience was tested and challenged. He was successful to conceal all the annoyance, and fight all his laughter (because of the funny passwords). He experienced mixed emotions by just answering phone calls and dealing with different kinds of people. Sehun and Jongin are getting ready to go home but hey decided to  hangout at 7-eleven to unwind. 

"I know how it feels to be hot so tell me how's being a hotline guy?" Jongin asks his best friend while opening a can of soda. 

"On this day forward...I have now my new motto in life, dude. Patience is a **fucking** virtue. I improved this motto with the word 'fucking' on it for me to feel that Patience is the core virtue of my existence." Sehun said as he keeps on staring outside. Jongin, being a good best friend, is just laughing at his friend. 

"Bro, we just finished our first, as in first day of work. Come on! Learn how to chill." Jongin doesn't know if what he said even help. 

"At least, you didn't see the customers who trash talks you. I even received an indecent proposal from a single lady in his forties on the first day as a delivery man. She asked if I can also give her my heart aside from giving her a pizza. You have no idea how scared I was. So just practice being patient, emo girl!"  Now, Jongin know that what he said really helps Sehun.

"Holy guacamole! You should accept that proposal so that you will not eat the majority of the food in our fridge. Well, I guess you're right. I just hope that misterpororoni will just call pizza hut or yellow cab instead of EDP." Sehun sighs. He was really affected by that Mr. Do's sarcasm earlier. He assumed that misterpororoni is an old grumpy fat man without social life living alone with his grumpy cat. 

  
"On the scale of forever to infinity, how lame is that delivery password? misterpororoni? Is that Pororo who likes peperoni so much he starts to ship himself with a pizza?" Jongin and Sehun can't stop laughing. He wanted to laugh after hearing that earlier so he just let all his laughter out. 

Jongin had no idea who among his deliveries was misterpororoni because according to the delivery scheme under the EDP strategic plan 2012, the password is confidential between the customer and designated hotline guys. The delivery man will only see the name and address in the receipt. 

 

***

It's been two days since Kyungsoo ate his favorite Pepperonironi. Every time he's busy producing music, he has to make sure he will order his favorite pizza. He doesn't even care if his best friend is cursing him every time he orders the same pizza again and again.  He doesn't want to try other types of pizza and with that, his best friend was traumatized by pepperoni and pizza in one sentence.

"I need to get this done by tomorrow, Baek. You need to polish your lyrics before I polish the floor with your face." Kyungsoo said to his best friend who is currently lying down on the couch playing with his phone. 

  
"I told you it was done two days ago while you were busy blessing the hotline guy with your sarcasm aka adoration for pepperonironi pizza." Baekhyun said in disgust because he just said that traumatic food he loathes ever since he became friends with Kyungsoo. 

"Oh, good thing you remind me about that. I'll order again since I'll have to stay all night for this beat samples 'cos second semester is a month away. Do you want me to order you happiness delight cheesecake?" Kyungsoo's eyes becomes bigger when he remembers that he needs to order another box of his favorite pizza. Baekhyun just covered his face with a throw pillow. Why did he even say that? He just agreed to have that happiness delight cheesecake because he likes the taste of that dessert. 

 

Kyungsoo dialed 040-0812-DORADO. He memorized this number ever since he got his own phone and EDP has it's own hotline number for delivery.

 

  
The Ring 2 

"Sail sail sail, hello hello hello, you've reached the El dorado, may I have your delivery password?" Kyungsoo mumbles along with the Hotline guy. He also memorize the opening spiel. He noticed that the hotline guy is just new because the voice is no longer familiar to him. 

"misterpororoni" He said it monotonously. 

"Thank you for that sir, may I have your order?" The hotline guy replied. Kyungsoo noticed that the voice of the hotline guys changed into fallacious politeness after hearing his password. But he doesn't care at all. 

"One small pepperonironi pizza and-" Kyungsoo will add another order but the hotline guy cuts him off.  

"Your order is one small pepperonironi pizza. That will be 8 dollars , Sir.".

Kyungsoo's thick eyebrows arched. He is not yet finish ordering but that hotline guy wraps up his incomplete order. "Hey, I am not finish ordering. Are you in a hurry? Well, you could just refer me to another delivery crew. Tell him that I also get one slice of happiness delight cheesecake so you can leave already." Kyungsoo strikes again with his gentle yet sarcastic tone. 

The hotline guy apologized but he can't feel the sincerity. Kyungsoo is not in the mood to fight via phone so he just let it go. He just made sure his orders are correct before hanging up the phone. And for the second time, he didn't let the hotline guy say his closing spiel. 

Baekyun heard the cliché tension between Kyungsoo and the designated hotline guy. He is used to hear that every time his best friend have a duel with almost all the hotline guys at El Dorado Pizzeria. 

"Seriously, Soo? You're not in good terms with all the hotline guys at EDP. I am sure all of them imagine you as an old fat grumpy man living alone with just a cat."   
"Given that I'm grumpy and living alone with you, let's just say almost all of the hotline guys of EDP are plain stupid." Kyungsoo replies as he makes some beat samples for his sound engineering subject for this coming semester.

"Wow, your stereotype beats are too loud I can't even here you speak." Baekhyun thinks that his best friend cannot be saved from being like that. 

 

***

Sehun's day at works is great not until misterpororoni rings him on the other line to take away that greatness. Every time he gets the order of that grumpy guy, Sehun starts to feel annoyed, degraded, and pissed. He is waiting for the perfect day to get back at him and have the sweetest revenge for his greatest enemy. 

 

The Ring 3

"Sail sail sail, hello hello hello, you've reached the El dorado, may I have your delivery password?" Sehun answered his last call for his shift. 

"misterpororoni" Sehun's favorite costumer replied on the other line. He is cursing silently. _Why did this man call at this time?_

"Thank you for providing your password. May I take your order?" He asked in full control not to curse his last costumer for tonight. Sehun learned to recite his revised motto in life every time he gets a call from misterpororoni. _Patience is fucking virtue._

"One small pepperonironi, thanks." Mr. Do said his one and only order. Sehun had to make sure that his customer is done to avoid any violent reaction from him. 

"That'll be eight dollars, Sir. Is there anything you would like to add? How about desserts, Sir? We have a promo for happiness delight set this week. If I were you, I would definitely get this since the promo is valid until tomorrow." He predicts that misterpororoni will have his sarcasm ready anytime soon but Sehun still follow his guide for the new promos and food that can be offered to the costumers. He doesn't really care if misterpororoni's social skill is like the size of the pizza he used to order...small. 

"I don't want to order HD cheesecake right now. I hope you don't mind. I know you are just doing your job but just a reminder, you can't let someone dictate your life choices and vice versa." Mr. Do left him another life advice that he didn't even need because he knows that all along. And for the nth time, misterpororoni didn't let him have his closing spiel. 

That's it. Everybody has their own breaking point. And misterpororoni helped Sehun to reach that. Oh Sehun is oh so done. 

  
After closing his computer, Sehun went to the counter to get misterpororoni's order. He volunteered to take this order to Jongin in the parking lot. Jongin saw Sehun approaching with a pizza box. He finds it weird because this is Sehun's first time to bring the order outside. This is also the first time he sees his best friend with a dark aura while holding a box of pizza. That scenario is very rare for Jongin. 

"Hold up, hold up! What's with that face bro?" Jongin asked in confusion. Sehun let out his deeper-than-the-sea sigh. 

"Behold, King Jongin! You will witness my revenge tonight before you deliver this to your last costumer." Sehun said in a serious manner. His best friend is totally puzzled right now. 

Sehun places the pizza box on the seat of Jongin's scooter; unties the ribbon then opens the box. Jongin is too shocked he forgot to stop his friend from doing it. After opening the box,he started to remove and eat all the pepperoni toppings on the pizza. He tied the ribbon like nothing happens. 

"What the fuck was that?" Jongin asked slowly. He had really no idea what did his best friend do to his last delivery. Sehun gave him the box and just smirked at him. 

"Yah, Jongin! forget what I did. Just deliver this to our last costumer. And oh wait, tell him that his life tips are meh just like his social skills. And try to observe what will happen inside okay?Don’t leave immediately." Sehun tapped his best friend shoulders before leaving.

 

The Ring (Dingdong)

Jongin buzzed the doorbell of his last costumer's apartment unit. He is curious why did Sehun do that. He finds this address familiar. He remembers that he's almost here weekly to deliver the same pizza again and again. But the man who takes the order seems fine with him. 

The door opens  but this time, there's another man who takes the order. 

"One small pepperonironi pizza for Mr. Do Kyungsoo." Jongin flashes his killer smile and gives the pizza box. The customer pay him in return. Then Jongin remembers Sehun's favor to him. 

"Ahm, wait sir!  Are you Do Kyungsoo?" Jongin asked in the nicest way as possible. 

"Yes I am. My roommate is asleep so I'm the one who get my order this time." His last customer answered. Kyungsoo closes the door but the delivery man called him again. 

"Wait Mr. Do! Sehun, I mean the hotline guy said that your life tips were meh just like your social skills." Jongin said it in a rapping speed. 

  
Kyungsoo's eyes becomes bigger after hearing it. He finds it really interesting. That hotline guys is taking this cliché tension (according to Baekhyun's terms) into a whole new level. 

"Ah okay, thanks for telling me." He forces himself to smile before closing the door. He puts the box of pizza on the table. He can’t help not to grit his shiny set of strong teeth. Kyungsoo decided to start eating his antidepressant, chill-magnet comfort food.

  
Baekhyun is sleeping soundly on the couch when he heard a screeching guy in his twenties in the kitchen. He becomes wide awake. This is indeed a red alert, life and death situation. Nobody messes with his best friend even him of course. He runs to where that terror sound is coming from.  

Baekhyun is stoked. Now he knows the reason of the screeches. Kyungsoo is staring at his all-time favorite Pepperonironi pizza without pepperoni. Exaggeration aside, this pepperoni pizza is way more special than all the food for the gods in Olympus combined.

“This is fucking impossible. That man will never see the sun again.” Kyungsoo intensely grits his teeth to the extent that they will crack any moment. Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do. He just close the pizza box of doom and get his best friend a glass of water. He needs to pull a Tom Cruise to make Kyungsoo calm because this is  mission impossible. 

  
Jongin heard all the screeching and the death threat for Sehun inside the door. The incident tonight is much more terrifying than the indecent proposal he received last time.  The unit became a dungeon of darkness in just a minute. He decided to go to Sehun’s house to bid him a farewell and he is now practicing his eulogy for his beloved best friend.

Sehun is laughing alone. He feels so triumphant and victorious. At last! He did it. He is clamoring for justice for a month and now it was served.  His last day as a hotline guy became memorable.  He is lying on his bed with Pinku-pinku when Jongin barged in. Jongin looks so troubled and exactly the opposite of Sehun right now. He sits on the swivel chair and put his legs on Sehun’s bed. 

“Dude, do you want me to recite my eulogy to you right now so that you can hear it? like what Isaac and Hazel did to Augustus Waters?" Jongin cleared his throat. Sehun is the one who is puzzled right now.

  
“Don’t start with The Fault In Our Stars reference. Come on, dude! Spill.” Sehun is still blinded by his happiness. Jongin told the entire thing he heard earlier from the screeches to death threat announcement of misterpororoni. Sehun is not affected by Jongin’s stories. He doesn’t give a fuck now that he’s voyage at El Dorado is over. 

  
“How I wish I was there to hear them all!” Sehun is still smiling like a fool. His best friend just let out a small sigh. 

“I will just text you the eulogy I prepared, my friend. Good bye.” Jongin bid his goodbye. 

  
***

  
The first thing that Kyungsoo did in the morning is dialed the hotline of El dorado Pizzeria to warn that hotline guy about his own doomsday. However, his favorite hotline guy is no longer there.

  
“Pussy.” Kyungsoo mumbles when he found out that yesterday was his last day as the hotline guy because his contract was over. The poor hotline guy didn’t know that Kyungsoo had ways. He successfully gets the poor hotline guy’s number by saying that he’s a long lost friend. Good thing, he remembers that his name is Sehun when that dashing delivery guy accidentally revealed the name of the man who took his order. 

  
There is one more week before second semester begins. Sehun is living the time of his life watching all the latest movies he copied from Jongin’s external hard drive. He thinks that everything is back to normal but not until he received a mysterious text messages. He thought he was just being pranked by Jongin. 

  
From: xxx-xxxx-xxxx  
_Sail sail sail_

  
From: xxx-xxxx-xxxx  
_Hello hello hell.......oh_

  
Sehun really thinks it’s Jongin who is making fun of him since his best friend is now in Busan for their annual family vacation. He saved the number and named it “s2pid” because he finds it cool. 

  
To: s2pid  
_Who r u?_

  
From: s2pid:  
_I'm your worst nightmare_

  
To: s2pid  
_Dafuq? Jongin? That's not even funny Monggu boy!_

  
From: s2pid  
_You're the one who's not funny. You think you are but you’re not._

  
To: s2pid  
_Who the hell r u? Srsly._

  
The unknown messages is creeping him out. He doesn’t want to admit it but he is pissed and at the same time, scared. 

  
_Don't tell me it's misterpororoni who came from the fiery pits of hell who started his retaliation._ He thought all of sudden.

His phone beeped again.

From: s2pid  
_Alr scared?_

  
To: s2pid  
_No... i'm just not into freaks_

  
From: s2pid  
_How do you know I’m a freak if u can't even tell you're one?_

  
To: s2pid  
_Ur crazy!_

  
From: s2pid  
_*u're_

  
Kyungsoo finds it fun to make that Sehun guy pissed. He is now like Baekhyun who can’t get his eyes and fingers off his phone. His best friend notices him smirking like a serial killer and sits beside him.

“Kyungsoo, that’s not a proper way to flirt with a man. When did threatening becomes a way of love-wooing?” Baekhyun teased his best friend. He received a punch on his arm in return.   

Kyungsoo’s phone starts to ring. Sehun is now calling him. He can’t help himself not to laugh because the hotline guy who ambushed his pepperonironi pizza is already scared and threatened. He didn’t answer it, of course.

  
From: …  (Kyungsoo named it like that.)  
_Answer me!_

  
To: …  
_Why would I? Do you miss my voice?_

  
Sehun didn’t reply now that he knows who is the one texting him. But that made Kyungsoo more inspired to annoy him. He begins to send many quotes about life, fun facts about pepperoni and pizza and even plain emojis. 

  
At first, Sehun is so annoyed he even turns off his phone. But later on, he get used to receive trivia from Kyungsoo and it becomes a habit for him to read all the bulk messages from Kyungsoo in the morning. He doesn’t seem to notice but he’s smiling while reading them.

  
From: s2pid  
_Did you know that about 36 percent of all pizzas contain pepperoni, making it the most popular topping in the world?_

  
From: s2pid  
_We consume around 251,770,000 pounds of pepperonis every year_

From: s2pid  
_36 percent of all pizza orders want their pizza topping pepperoni_

  
From: s2pid  
_Pizza comes from the Latin root word Picea which means the blackening of crust by fire._

  
They keep on sending each other nonsense messages. Sehun and Kyungsoo haven’t noticed it yet but they are becoming closer even they didn’t have a good impression with each other; they didn’t have proper introduction and they haven't met yet.  

  
Sehun can't help not to smile when he received another random message from Kyungsoo. He even changed the s2pid to Soo.

 

From: Soo  
_My cat’s favorite app is Tinder._

To:  Soo  
_I think my dog clicked yes on him the other day_

  
From: Soo  
_What if Bermuda triangle is circle?_

To: Soo  
_Don’t worry, the shape of the pizza is circle but the box is square all along._

From: Soo  
Stupid

It’s been a week since he became ‘text mates’ with misterpororoni. He finally noticed that they are in good terms behind those bickering. He realized that Kyungsoo’s sarcasm is just a façade. Sehun doesn’t even know why he’s acting like this. 

 

Kyungsoo feels so happy every time Sehun sends him a message first. He is having hard time changing the name of Sehun on his phone. But he changed it to 'Sehun'. Being closer to Sehun is another dilemma for Kyungsoo. His vague feelings for the hotline guy makes it hard for him.

  
From: Sehun  
_Aren’t you tired?_

To: Sehun  
_Tired of what?_

From: Sehun  
_Tired of being like this?_

To: Sehun  
_Like what?_

From: Sehun  
_Tired of this kind of set-up?_

To: Sehun  
_Aren’t you annoyed?_

From: Sehun  
_Annoyed with what?_

To: Sehun  
_With me?_

From: Sehun  
_I was, but not anymore...I guess._

To: Sehun  
_Then, Do u think I should stop?_

From: Sehun   
_R u serious? Stop from what?_

To: Sehun  
_Stop from bugging you?_

From: Sehun  
_What if I tell you I am still annoyed?_

To: Sehun  
_Still not gonna change my mind_

From: Sehun  
_R00d -.-_

To: Sehun  
_Need to stop while I can_

From: Sehun  
_Hey what’s the problem?_

_Y sleep? It’s too early_

_Hey_  
_Hey_  
_hey_

  
Kyungsoo decided to ignore the following messages from Sehun. 

  
Sehun can’t sleep. He didn’t understand Kyungsoo’s last message. Until now, he is still waiting for Kyungsoo’s reply. 

  
Kyungsoo can’t sleep too. He feels there’s something wrong. The things that are happening are not on his plan. How come those nonsense messages will make him feel like this? How come his revenge for that hotline guy is now taking its toll on him? He needs to stop doing this for his own good. He needs to stop getting closer to Sehun before it’s too late. His cold façade crumpled into pieces when he decided to pester Sehun with his weirdness. He hates to admit it but he can’t stop thinking of him. 

  
Kyungsoo’s phone vibrates again.

  
From: Sehun  
_I know you’re not sleeping yet cos you’re an owl. Owls are nostalgic._

  
From: Sehun  
_Kyungsoo please tell me what’s wrong!_

  
Kyungsoo is shocked. This is the first time Sehun called him that. He is avoiding to upgrade their closeness to first name basis kind of closeness. But what did just Sehun did?

  
From: Sehun  
_I really want to call you right now but I know you won’t answer so please, just tell me what’s wrong! Just tell me why do you want to stop! I though we are okay now?_

  
Kyungsoo is now battling with himself. He didn’t sign up for this. He just wants to get even with Sehun. But fate and karma collaborated with each other to push Kyungsoo and make him fall for his hotline guy of the month. He can’t admit that to himself because that only means he’s already defeated. But there’s a part of him thinks that it’s better for him to move on and apologize to Sehun to let go all the feelings he developed for him.

  
_Fine, fine. I’ll just end this._ The latter part of him won.  He sends Sehun a message, more like a short confession to end this little thing between them.

  
To: Sehun  
_The wrong thing here is me getting so excited every time I get a reply from you.  The wrong thing here is me texting you tons of message before I sleep at night and when I wake up in the morning. The wrong thing here is melting my ice cold self just to make you annoyed with my weirdness. The wrong thing here is me starting to fall in love with you. So I must correct these wrong things. I should stop texting you. You’re also not annoyed anymore so it’s better for me to stop. I already swallowed my pride...I am sorry._

  
After a few minutes, he didn't receive any reply from Sehun. He thinks that Sehun is laughing his ass off. He is now a laughingstock right now because of his stupidness. 

 

To: Sehun  
_That’s it. You don’t need to reply here._

  
Kyungsoo thought he will be fine after saying what’s in his mind and heart. But he was tearing up while typing his message for Sehun. He is too shallow. It’s been only a week but he likes Sehun already. All his mean plan backfired him. He is currently under a self-loathing stage. He hates himself for being stupid and for acting like a girl who suddenly hits her puberty.

  


Sehun heard his phone beeped. He checks the message in a heartbeat. He can’t help not to get stunned after reading his message. Did he read it right? He asked to himself. Sehun is happier now than the night he got his revenge. 

  
He reads the next message of Kyungsoo. “Sure, but I will answer you somewhere.” He just smirked. 

  
It’s already midnight when Sehun quickly runs to El dorado Pizzeria. EDP is open 24/7 but the delivery is until ten o’clock in the evening. Sehun is panting as he enters the pizzeria and runs to the kitchen without even stopping. He needs to do this so that Kyungsoo will not stop from annoying him. He realized that Kyungsoo made his summer special and memorable in all aspects. Kyungsoo becomes the enabler of his feelings this summer and he still likes Kyungsoo to be a part of his spring, autumn and winter. He doesn’t care about his password and obsession with pepperonironi pizza. The only thing that he needs to care about is to stop Kyungsoo from avoiding him.

There are few people inside for the nightshift. Good thing, he knows the two people in the kitchen.  He took a small pizza box in the cabinet and went to one of the chef who is putting the pepperoni topping on the pizza he is making. 

After asking for help from the chef, he runs outside to borrow one of the scooters. He placed the small box of pizza inside the container behind the scooter. He starts the engine and tries his best to make Kyungsoo think that it’s not a wrong thing to fall in love with him. He knows the address of Kyungsoo by heart. (Well, almost all the hotline guys of EDP remember the address of the almighty misterpororoni. It’s just a common knowledge.)

  
The Ring (dingdong) Finale

  
Sehun is running out of breath because he chose to take the stairs instead of using the elevator to reach the 6th floor. Sehun has never been so nervous. His hands are sweaty and his throat begins to dry. He closed the small pizza box properly before pressing the buzzer. Sehun pressed the buzzer many times waiting for Kyungsoo to open the door. He is excited to meet him in person. He doesn’t have any idea what does he look like because he always forgot to search Kyungsoo on the internet. He wants to call Kyungsoo but the element of surprise will be put to waste so he presses the buzzer again and again. 

Kyungsoo is forcing himself to sleep but he keeps hearing the buzz of their doorbell. He doesn’t want to get up from his misery so he ignores the irritating sound of their buzzer. He knows that it’s just Baekhyun who forgot his keys. He noticed that his best friend is so persistent so he will let him pass this time and open the door for him. 

“Where are your goddamn keys, Baek?” He shouted after opening the door. He realized that it’s not Baekhyun but a gorgeous panting stranger holding a small pizza box. He doesn’t look familiar but he looks hot and sweaty. Kyungsoo can’t take his eyes off him.

  
“Sorry, but I’m here to deliver this for Kyungsoo.” Sehun breaks the silence. Kyungsoo is now back on his normal phase.    
“I didn’t order any pizza for today.” Kyungsoo replied in a gentle manner again. Sehun looks at him intently. He looks so cute and cuddly like Pororo. Now he knows the reason behind his password. 

“Kyungsoo, can we talk here? You said I don’t need to reply in our text conversation so- ” Sehun started to make a move. Kyungsoo didn’t expect this to happen. He was really caught off guard. How come this hot and gorgeous sweaty stranger in front of him is his hotline guy textmate? 

“So you went here to harass my doorbell?” Kyungsoo continue it with a natural light joke to lessen the awkwardness. Sehun smiles shyly. Kyungsoo is like that, even in person. 

“I didn’t mean it. But I also want to give you this.” Sehun said and gave the box of pizza. Kyungsoo accepted it without thinking twice. He noticed that there’s something different with the box. He got curious and decided to check what’s inside but Sehun hold his hand to stop him. 

“Before you open it, I want you to know that for me, it’s not a wrong thing to get excited every time I read your messages every day. It is not a wrong thing to be annoyed by you and lastly, it is never a wrong thing to fall in love with me, Kyungsoo. So you don’t need to correct all of what’s happening now because there’s nothing wrong between us.” Sehun finally said it. He gets the pizza box from Kyungsoo’s hands so that he will open it.

“I am here to return something that was dear to you. And I hope after this, we can start afresh.” Sehun lift up the opening of the pizza box. Kyungsoo flashed his heart-shaped smile after seeing what’s inside the box. He didn’t see that coming. There are hundreds of pepperoni topping shaped into a heart inside the pizza box. Sehun asked the chef at El dorado Pizzeria to give him sliced pepperonis without the pizza dough.

“Thank you.” Kyungsoo thanked Sehun and kissed him chastely on his cheek. He can't help it. It feels like there's an enchanted magnetic force on Sehun's lips that  made him kiss the fine young man in front of him. Sehun wants to get even with Kyungsoo so he kissed him back but this time, on the lips. Kyungsoo can feel the warmth of Sehun’s breath because of the intimate space between them. Kyungsoo feels so nervous that cause him to hardly breathe but he wants more.

Both of them are aware that it’s too fast for kissing but Sehun is a _carpe-diem_ type of guy and Kyungsoo is even more prepared to be seized. 

"You can stop annoying me but don't stop yourself from falling in love with me." Sehun whispers to Kyungsoo that made the latter blush. They are on the act of kissing again when they heard the elevator stopped on their floor. They also hear someone who is moaning like a puppy outside the elevator. Kyungsoo find the moaning familiar so he grab Sehun's hand for them to confirm who is the person behind it. Both of them control their laughter after witnessing the scene.

"I told you my dog clicked yes to your cat last time." Sehun whispered. Kyungsoo and Sehun both giggle silently because this can help them blackmail their best friends in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> (cross-posted from A Strong Breeze Fic Fest Round 1)


End file.
